RAOC Gazette - page 134
Image details
| Corps | RAOC |
|---|---|
| Material type | Journals |
| Book page | |
| Chapter head | |
| Chapter key | |
| Chapter number | |
| Full title | RAOC Gazette |
| Page number | |
| Publication date | 1978 |
| Real page | |
| Colour | No |
| Grey | No |
| Early date | 1978 |
| Late date | 1978 |
| Transcription |
MFO-A MILITARY THROMBOSIS (A thrombosis is a bloody clot wbich impairs ihe efficiency of the central body) THE scene is a United States Army Post in Virginia on a clear and balmy night, the place 1 is the Officer's Club, and the event is an * Officers' Dining In. A British Lieutenant Colonel enters the Club* he is resplendent in his messkit and steels himself (he has now been here two and a half years) for the inevitable ** Gee, you look sharp tonite *' or " Those spurs really are neat" (The Colonel is aware that he should not be wearing them, which is why he never allows photographs of these events to appear in THE GAZETTE). Enough, I dawdle. After 'cocktail hour,' where he is ex- wrong order of precedence. He sighs, then gathering himself, he says "Good Evening,Captain Polts,and how are you tonight?" " Fine sir, but I sure am busy. I've got a whole bunch of things to do because fm on orders for Burtonwood, England and I leave in two weeks/' The English Colonel was thus poignantly reminded of his own imminent return to the Old Country and also of the cuts and abrasions on his throbbing and mutilated hands caused by his inexpert attempt to assemble numerous cases, wood, pack- ing, collapsible. He is vividly reminded of his nightmares about his forthcoming joust with a banding machine—and ponders why he didn't enlist as a storeman? Perhaps in the next life " Yes/ 1 he says to Captain Potts, " I am just going through that horrifying process of packing myself—Isn't it terrible? 1 * Potts looks puzzled; ** Well, not really, Sir, The only real problem I had was getting the Movers to come over the week- posed to the usual gin and tonic, in a glass which is too small, filled with ice which in turn enables the club to save tonic, and invariably, means that the younger officers drink too much— prematurely; ' Ruffles and Flourishes * are sounded and the Mess assembles for dinner. The colours enter, escorted by the honour guard shining in their chromium plated helmets to the strains of ' The Stars and Stripes/ The President of the Mess, The Com- manding General, who is also MC for the night and really earns his stipend, formally opens the Mess and all sink to their chairs. The British Officer now takes stock of his dinner com- panions. On his left is a bright young female Captain, and he makes a mental note not to call her * my dear" or refer to her as a * lady' recalling his first Dining In where, afterwards, he was summoned to explain this mode of address to the Equal Rights Committee. On his right, crew-cut and intense, is Captain Hiram C. Potts from the Protocol Office. As far as the British Officer is concerned this could not have been worse; this is the officer who invariably forgets to put the British National Flag out on formal occasions and when he does it is upside down or in the end so that Jane and I can be away at the beach while they are packing and loading the container. We find it best to go away; you only get in the movers' way, and anyhow it gives us both a nice rest." The Colonel reflects on his normally attractive and vivacious wife, whom he has just left in his house looking haggard and wild-eyed as she tries to preserve the Wedgewood by packing it in straw and old newspapers. She has been pursuing this pro- ject for forty eight hours nonstop now. The thought of a large container brings the Colonel back to earth with a start—he must remember to go and get the weighing machine so that he can weigh the boxes and wonders who he can get to help him lift the boxes onto the scales. He comes out of his reverie to hear Captain Potts saying: " I am allowed twelve thousand pounds of freight and this will probably be enough." {Continued on page 128) 106 |
| Book number | R0247 |